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Book Review – RESOLVE: A New Model Of Therapy by Richard Bolstad

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Copyright: 2002

Publisher: Crown House Publishing

Richard Bolstad’s book RESOLVE: A New Model of Therapy is excellent on several levels and is highly recommended for anyone interested in advancing the science of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) or the use of NLP is psychotherapeutic practice. It is extensively referenced, citing research, other NLP developer’s ideas, and non-NLP models of change. This is not a book focused on NLP “pyrotechnics” (his term), rather it is integrative and practical. Bolstad makes connections between NLP and other models of psychotherapy. He presents a perspective on the utility of NLP as an explanatory model, as NLP concepts are useful for explaining what therapist from many orientations do. His RESOLVE model is essentially a well articulated synthesis of the use of the NLP in the context of an NLP informed psychotherapy model.

The book provides a historical perspective on NLP and psychotherapy. Bolstad makes the point that NLP’s roots and assumptions have connections with other forms of psychotherapy. He devotes a chapter providing a clear, science based, linkage between NLP and how the brain functions. Bolstad discusses several aspects of the model (representational systems, submodalities, emotional states, etc.) and relates these to what has been learned in recent years about neurological functioning. For instance, his discussion of the state-dependent qualities of neural encoding and the implications of this for intervention was fascinating.

Bolstad makes the point that research into NLP is still needed to make it more useful for psychotherapists. He notes that since the earliest NLP writings this need has been recognized, “but it was 20 years before the field of NLP itself began to respond effectively to this need.” He goes on to describe several studies published over the last ten years that examined the use of NLP in psychotherapy that found positive results. But research supporting that NLP is successful “in a general sense” has not been enough to draw a great deal of attention to it among psychotherapists. He also notes that few attempts to link NLP techniques and those used in other models of psychotherapy have been made since NLP’s inception, with a notable exception being Practical Magic: A Translation of Basic Neuro-Linguistic Programming into Clinical Psychotherapy by Stephen Lankton, published in 1980. Bolstad notes that it has been more than 20 years since Lankton’s book and “both NLP and psychotherapy have evolved.” Clearly Bolstad feels that more attention to the use of NLP in psychotherapy is warranted. A major accomplishment of this book is to systematically address how NLP fits into psychotherapy as it is practiced today. Among other things, he advocates the incorporation of NLP interventions into the context of the therapist preferred modality to speed the achievement of many specific results.

In my estimation one of the critical points Bolstad makes relates to what type of information constitutes data supporting the validity of NLP as a change technology. While advocating more clinical research, he also contends that “Because much of NLP is a metadiscipline (a way of …

general

Relationship Therapy and Attachment Style: The Anxious Style

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INTRODUCTION

People interact with each other in primary relationships through one of four Attachment Styles: These styles each have specific characteristics and vulnerabilities. Namely, they are the Secure, Anxious, Avoidant and Fearful-Avoidant. The last thee styles are all variations of insecure styles but manifest that insecurity differently. This article is a brief review of what to understand about the qualities of the Anxious individual and what to do if your Anxious attachment style is interfering with dating or relationship success.

As you read, keep in mind two things: First, no one is fully one style or the other. Most of us are somewhat one style or somewhat another style. Thank goodness. That gives us some wiggle room to work things out! Secondly, while we all probably have our basic style (Anxious or Avoidant), it’s possible for the other style to emerge in response to the style of the person you’ve met. In other words, an Anxious person may find themselves retreating and looking more Avoidant if the person they met is more Anxious than they are. This is because both styles are insecure styles and are reactive to the anxiety each face with closeness and connection. We’ll talk more about the Fearful-Avoidant style in another article.

PITFALLS OF AN ANXIOUS STYLE

Except for situations we’ll describe below, people with an Anxious style tend to find someone they like and are quickly ready to proceed into a relationship. Their anxiety decreases when they are with their partner and increases when they are apart. This anxiety rises with even non-intentional “misses” such as calling later than promised or worse, not calling until the next day. They are often generous with their time and energy and accommodating to the needs of their partner. Having plans for the next get together is very important and they will feel anxious if their partner hasn’t proposed something. They may make sure something gets scheduled or they may feel anxious to propose the next date, fearing they are putting too much pressure on the relationship and then wait anxiously on the other person to contact them. Perhaps one of the most distressing parts of the anxious person’s experience is preoccupation with what I call “relationship review.” Once the anxiety begins, rumination about previous conversations, assessments of how the last date(s) went, and worry that the speed at which they hope things could go may be driving their partner away. Further, they may forecast catastrophic futures about the relationship. This can be agony for the Anxious person. Do you remember the scene in the movie, “Flashdance,” where the dancers were working out at the gym and one of them was obsessing about whether the man she met would call or not? That’s what we’re talking about.

The dating pool is disporportionately weighted with anxious and avoidant folks as the secure people are likely to wade out of the dating pool together. Hence, the chances are that an anxious individual will meet someone with an avoidant style. It’s important …

beauty

Beauty Therapy Vs Cosmetology

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People often get these two terms confused. They both take place in a beauty school, they both require some form of certification, and they both involve cosmetic work that can help clients look and feel more beautiful than ever before. Most individuals think that these two are the same thing, but there are huge differences that individuals should be aware of before deciding on their career path.

Cosmetology

Cosmetology is what most people think of when they think of beauty school in the first place. They envision cutting and styling to perfection in a salon. Facials, expert manicures and pedicures and flawless make up looks are a few other things that cosmetology is known for. One of the key ways to help differentiate between the two is remembering that cosmetology often involves things that are more along the lines of cutting, styling and quick surface things that can easily be reversed, such as facials or manicures.

Beauty Therapy

Beauty therapy is similar to cosmetology in the fact that a person goes to school to learn beauty treatments. The coursework is often different, however. Schools that specialize in beauty therapy treatments often offer more advanced coursework, like laser hair removal training and other beauty therapy. In addition to this, they often offer some of the more popular courses that are offered at schools that specialize in cosmetology, such as certified nail technician courses.

Which one to choose

When students are faced with deciding which school to attend, they are often faced with choosing between cosmetology and beauty therapy schools. While beauty therapy schools offer some of the same things that cosmetology schools offer, most cosmetology schools do not offer courses in laser hair removal training.

Students are encouraged to sit back and consider their education goals. If a student would like to learn more advanced beauty therapy treatments, a beauty school that specializes in courses such as laser hair removal training will be the best option. Students that have a dream of working in a salon and giving their clients a haircut that they will fall in love with or the perfect pedicure will find that a beauty school that specializes in more cosmetology practices instead of advanced beauty therapy treatments, like laser hair removal training, will be more up their alley.

Shop around

An education is what determines a person's future, making it one of the most important decisions in a young adult's life. Because of this, students are encouraged to take their time shopping around, just like when they want to find the perfect outfit.

Many beauty school have websites that list their tuition, the various courses that are offered, and what the schedule will look like. If a student is interested, they can usually take a tour of the facility, and visit the labs that they will be working in. Sometimes, a school will even allow an interested person to sit in on a laser hair removal training class so that they can determine if this is the …