Dear in a Quandary: I have an idea: How about your wife keep her thoughts to herself, thereby ensuring both a solid friendship, as well as a harmonious home?
This is the very essence of “none of her business.” Your relationship with your godson predates your relationship with your wife. It is separate from your wife. You have every right to conduct your relationship with the boy the way you choose to. Furthermore, I happen to agree with your stance regarding the gift. It was not a family heirloom. It has been recycled, and now another child will enjoy it.
If your wife has the gall to bring this up to the boy’s parents in your presence, you should say to her, “Well, I completely disagree with you, as I made clear when we discussed this before. When I give a gift, I believe the person who receives it should do whatever they want with it.”
If your wife wants a harmonious home, perhaps she shouldn’t judge and confront friends about their parenting, or harshly judge your godparenting.
And because this is a godchild question, I’ll throw out a favorite admonition from the Bible: “Be a cheerful giver!” You have done so, and good for you.
Dear Amy: I have only one living sibling. She spent most of our adult years manipulating our mother to get more than her share of money, jewelry, family antiques, at times resorting to lies and even theft. She seldom called me, never visited and left me with the lion’s share of elder care.